Online Funny Stories About Growing Pot

There are two kinds of people in this world: those who think with logic, and those who float nonsensically through. In this article, we're more interested in the second kind. A collaboration of stories and questions about cannabis that most people would never have dared to speak.

Let's face it. All of us have got a silly part of us. Yes, silly. That part inside that leads us down the garden path, resulting in nonsensical statements or questions that make plenty of people's hair stand on end and eyes roll. A fewgems such as "Have we got two livers or two kidneys"? Where's our brain's grey matter? Which came first, the First or Second World War? Do cows drink milk?" Isn't it fascinating?

These are questions I've really heard; I swear I'm not making them up. Browsing online, I read a few howlers such as "Is it true drinking petrol is good for your heart?" I have coeliac disease, where can I get gluten-free cocaine? In which zoo can I see a velociraptor? Can I teach cats to speak? Did the Beatles copy Justin Bieber's hairstyle?" And we could go on all day…or days, even! Months, weeks, years!

Such are the desperate questions of novice growers

The fact is that, what I'm telling you IS REAL, as real as life itself; and thus things won't be any different with cannabis. Today, we will go through some of the experiences of people from the Sensi Seeds team as well as those outside it, who've had to deal with surreal questions. I hope that, besides having a chuckle, you'll learn what you should and should NOT ask when talking to a cannabis enthusiast. Here's a choice selection.

Can I smoke cannabis outdoors from seeds I planted indoors?

This is, without doubt, one of my favourites. Let's take it one step at a time, shall we? While all types of cannabis can be grown indoors, indoor varieties of cannabis are especially recommended for growing indoors. That's how it works. In fact, growing it indoors means you're sure to have a stable environment with no surprises, since you're not reliant on external weather and climate conditions.

Growing it is one thing…but where do you smoke it? For those who are confused about the matter — cannabis, whether grown indoors or outdoors, from Beijing or Mars, can be smoked wherever you feel like smoking it! Of course cannabis from seeds you planted indoors can be smoked outdoors and, once again (provided it's legal) you can smoke it WHEREVER YOU WANT.

Can I grow cannabis in a shoe box and using a torch?

Whoever asked this question, I'd like to ask them: where the hell are you?? Where do you live? Did someone kidnap you? If not, I can't fathom it…You could be part of an Antarctic expedition that got lost and all you've got is a handful of cannabis seeds in your pocket. Otherwise, you could be running away from the Lanisters, in which case you have my every respect and I see why you'd want to grow cannabis this way.

BUT, if you don't find yourself in any of the above situations… why do you want to grow your seeds in a shoe box under torchlight? Is this some sort of a ritual? Friends, there are many paths to growing: indoors, outdoors, in greenhouses, guerrilla growing…We even have the option of micro-growing! Don't make things difficult for yourself…

Can I eat or smoke the seeds themselves to get a high?

You can indeed eat or smoke the seeds themselves. What you won't get is a high. At the most, you'll hallucinate a bit from stomach-ache, and nothing more. Deep down, I find this question endearing since it brings back those wonderful years when we used to make joints out of oregano, basil, thyme, parsley and banana peel, endlessly laughing at the thought we were really "getting a high".

Do you sell seeds to grow hash?

Dear friends, if there were seeds for growing hash straight out of the ground the world will not be how we know it. Trust me.

Can I boil my seeds?

This question has been asked repeatedly, since novice growers think this is a quick method for getting seeds to sprout or "break out", which is what happens when they germinate. I'm sorry to inform you that the only thing you'll get when boiling seeds is dirty water or a weird kind of soup. The seeds will not sprout. All that will happen is they'll become softer…And once again, remember: only mussels open when you boil them.

Related post

Cannabis confessions that keep you awake at night

In addition to the questions, Sensi Seeds staff have also had some "confessions". What follows is just a taster of these…

Confusing cannabis with nettles

Some poor souls confused cannabis with nettles and grew them in a growing room for weeks on end, believing they were in fact cannabis plants. At this stage, I don't know which is worse: the time (and resources) they've wasted tending to the plant in question or their disappointment and profound sadness when told that that "thing" won't yield them the harvest hoped for.

Smoking mouldy cannabis

You need to be careful with this sort of thing since it's your health that's at stake here! Some people might well think nothing will happen, since you're hardly going to eat mouldy cannabis like mouldy cheese, but watch out! It amounts to the same thing or worse. In fact, people have smoked mould-ridden weed that led to mould entering into their lungs.

Scary stuff, isn't it? So if you don't want this to happen to you, it's better to let the mouldy cannabis go. Yes, it's a shame having to throw away something you love, but everything in life revolves around decisions, so make sure you make the right ones!

Calling the police because some stole your (illegal) cannabis plants and ending up getting arrested as a result

A Sensi Seeds staff member once revealed this confession, although we're not sure if that was a confession about themselves or someone they came into contact with. Let's take a closer look. '

I totally understand the frustration and anger. I mean, someone puts a lot of effort into avoiding trouble with the law, the police, and prying neighbours. Then somebody goes ahead and steals their plants. It makes sense to walk around the neighbourhood and even try to catch the thief. But calling the police to recover illegal goods is definitely not the answer. Better just to let it go and buy other seeds! Life's not a picnic.

Decorating your living room with cannabis because you think they are flowers

I love this one! A classic, if ever there was one. Picture a sweet old lady growing cannabis in her little garden, tending to her plant (I can only assume she's fascinated by its fragrance) . Finally, she puts it into a cute vase and decorates her pretty living room with it. Charming.

Growing cannabis plants that were hidden for fifty years under the carpet and getting a good harvest from it

However surprising some may seem, certain stories have had a gloriously happy ending. It can just be down to luck or mere coincidence but come what may, this only goes to show cannabis is an amazing plant with unbeatable power and resistance!

Feel free to share your experiences and comments on this article. We're bound to publish a second part. What's clear is that when it comes to cannabis, it's hard to think with your head rather than your heart. And these improbable stories about our favourite plant proves this!

• Disclaimer:

  Laws and regulations regarding cannabis cultivation differ from country to country. Sensi Seeds therefore strongly advises you to check your local laws and regulations. Do not act in conflict with the law.

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Source: https://sensiseeds.com/en/blog/funniest-cannabis-stories-questions-sensi-seeds-has-ever-heard/

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